Looking For Ways to Protect Our Special Needs Children

Ever since the news broke about the Penn State sexual abuse scandal, I’ve been haunted by the thoughts of those poor children that fell victim.  Innocent. Vulnerable.  Now scarred.

A week later, a story breaks on the The Today Show about a family that discovered their special needs daughter had been bullied and traumatized by her own teachers.

In both cases, the adults involved were in positions of authority involving the most vulnerable of children.  In both cases they horribly abused that trust.  I can only imagine the raw pain and anger these families must feel.

As a parent of a 7-year-old son with autism, these stories scare the hell out of me.   My son struggles to piece together a simple narrative about his run-of-the-mill day.  He misinterprets emotions.  And I’m confident he’d completely miss the mark on any creepy “clues” that an authority figures’ behavior was inappropriate. I shudder at the thought of how vulnerable he really is.

In the wake of the Penn State incident, my husband and I have chatted about discussions that need to be had with our “typical” 10-year-old daughter.  She’s smart as a whip and old for her years, and even that conversation is going to be tricky.  But we’ve been wondering how to even start such a conversation with our son?

While I was checking in on some of my online “autism mom communities” on the issue,  I spotted some information that I thought I’d share.  A post mentioned the Stanfield VideoModeling series.  I don’t know anyone who has used it first-hand, but it appears to be an awesome DVD series to teach children the differences in relationships, appropriate and inappropriate physical touches, etc.   The catch – and it’s a big one – it’s $700.  Sigh.  Well, I’m going to ask around to see if any therapists in the area have the series and offer a training class or would loan it out.  Worse case scenario, maybe a pack of moms can join in together and buy it.

I’d love to hear about any other training programs out there, or any other suggestions!

The second issue is something all special needs parents worry about to one degree or another.  What is really going on inside my child’s school?  I’m not talking about sexual abuse here.  I’m talking about whether our children are being treated with respect, dignity and compassion.   And secondarily, is the IEP even being followed?

All parents worry about their children to some degree.  But when your child doesn’t have the language skills to retell a simple story, your anxiety can go through the roof.

There are times when I’ve driven myself crazy wondering how things are “really” going at school.  Don’t get me wrong… I think most teachers who choose to work directly with special needs children are true angels on this earth.  Yet, stories like the one that came to light this week on the “Today Show” are a wake-up call that there are some wackos among the angels.  Its our job as special needs parents to sort it all out.

So, my motto in all of this is to simply trust your gut.  If something feels wrong, it probably is.  If your child is freaking out about school unexpectedly, something is not right.  Get to the bottom of it, and don’t let teachers or the administration brush it under the rug.

Volunteer in your child’s class.  Join them at lunch.  Ask other parents to be on the look-out for how your child is being treated when you aren’t around.  Send in your therapists to do an independent evaluation.  Just send the school a signal that you are involved, aware and will be watching closely.

The parents in the “Today Show” segment trusted their gut that something wasn’t right.  Thank God they were unrelenting in their pursuit of the truth.

Tagged as: Autism, Penn State, Special Needs, Today Show